1.) making a bad thing seem even worse
2.) making a good thing seem bad
I guess it’s a form of self-sabotage or self doubt or whatever you want to call it.
I wouldn’t say I’m a negative person (although now it might seem like it!), but I have somehow been trained to think that wearing an armor called “expect the worst” will somehow make the bad less devastating.
Recently, I’ve been showered with amazing successes and opportunities, yet that little voice somehow comes through and says, “Don’t get too excited. This could be gone tomorrow.” Man! How bad is that!?
It appears that I’m not the only one who does this.
I work with teens, which is such an honor because they are in such a cool life phase. Pretty much anything is possible to them. Yet, many of them have serious self-doubt, which makes me want to cry. My students say things like, “I could never get into that school” or “I am preparing myself for rejection to soften the blow” or “I’ll have a list of safety schools, just in case”.
Those who have accomplished amazing things see their triumphs as tiny ant hills and those who have fallen want to hide and not get back up.
So, I want this to end. I’m going to do the following, and I hope you’ll join me, if you can relate:
1.) In tough times, tell myself “Only good can come of this”.
2.) In good times, tell myself, “Only good can come of this”. (And enjoy the good times, for crying out loud!)
3.)Believe this to be true. Know that this is in fact, A FACT!
I just started reciting this to myself, and, as if a test from the universe, tonight, my daughter got her hands on some dish soap and digested about half a teaspoon, sending me (first-time mom) into a full-fledged panic, calling her doctor, poison control, wiping her mouth out with a cloth and basically losing all of my senses.
In that moment of hysteria, these were probably that very LAST words that would run through my mind, after I exhausted every curse word known to man.
But now, as I settle down, and Rory is safe and sound in bed (turns out it is no where near as dangerous as I thought), I reflect on what good can come out of crazy situations like these that throw us for a loop. She probably won’t ever try to eat soap again. I probably won’t act like a total maniac again, if she does (let’s hope).
Call them little lessons or training for our emotional muscles, but these things do usually make us stronger and better prepared for the next blow.
We expect so much bad, and so we avoid so much good. This just can’t go on.
Let’s relish in all of our little victories and know that there’s more where that came from! Let’s also reframe the bad and give it a different name, forcing ourselves to envision all of the good that could possibly trickle out of that lemon. There is simply too much good out there to pass up.